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Talking about YouTube - MTV gENERATION aWARD 2006: Jim Carrey
 

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"Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love." - GakiNoHime (Lexine Bettina)

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YouTube - Coca Cola TV Commercial - Ang Sarap Dito (High Quality)
  

Same as to the part 1 of this guide that can already be found here at my multiply page, I'm reposting this something I wrote a year ago to save it before I delete my livejournal blog.

This is the continuation for the article “Bolero: A guide to a woman’s heart” which can be found here.

I am assuming that if you are a guy and have not read the first part yet, READ IT NOW! I really recommend reading the first article about this before continuing to the new one, which I will be writing. Hence, if you already read that one, I am assuming that you have absorbed everything I wrote there and is very willing to change.

What I want to share to you guys is how one friend of mine changed me into how I communicate with people around me—especially women. I was not like this at all. I was a nerd/geek back then that does not really know how to make a person laugh and communicating is really, where I suck. I always talk about myself back then and end up making the person I was talking to think that I am an egocentric self-appreciating bastard that does not care about the other person.

Until one day in high school, as I have joined many organizations already, there is this bunch of upperclassmen that are really quite good at TALKING and having a good conversation with WOMEN. I began observing them every time that I will be hanging out with these guys. One of these guys is really good at having conversations and every time I see him, he always gets the beautiful and hot girls in school wanting to be with him and wanting to talk to him some more. So I asked him HOW CAN HE DO THAT? Why do I suck in talking to people, especially women and why is he so good and so natural on making them laugh or make them want to talk to him? He is as if gravity... that everyone around is pulled to him / attracted to him.

Thus, my second share to you guys:

Having a good conversation

I learned what my friend is doing and there are only four words for it: listen, be selfless, tease & humour. It may sound quite simple but it is not. These three important reminders for conversing with people (specifically women) takes a lot of courage, time and PRACTICE until you become so natural on doing it.

This part actually needs a lot of practice and time to learn. In my own experience, I practiced it through my friends. Friends would actually be the best people to practice this. Because you already know them, you have the advantage of knowing what to tease them already and what kind of humour would work for them. Nevertheless, if you want to try to practice it with people you really do not know, go to the mall and talk to the sales women. Sales women at department stores or shops will talk to you even if you do not want them too. (It is because you are looking at their products and is already interested in you since they want you to buy their products)

So let us get it started.

1) Listen – HELLO! This is the very first thing everyone should know (not just guys... but all of us!). If you want to be good at talking to people, you should know how to listen. Every one of us loves being listened to whenever we say something. It is VERY RUDE whenever we are talking and the person we are talking to is not even listening. So every word she says counts! Actually, every word counts that you can use it later (in teasing, humour and asking her stuff).

2) Being selfless – You talk to people because you want to know how are they, what they are up to, how is there life and more stuff about them. If you are wondering, how did I come up with this? GET REAL DUDE! Women loves talking and they are so good at it that if you even try not to let them talk, they will not be interested in you AND the worst is, might not even talk to you again. Ask them anything and always make sure that everything you will ask them should be related to what they have said previously. Why? Because if not, it only means that you are not listening to them. DUH! Give your opinion if it is needed and it is a requirement to give your opinion whenever you have one because they like guys who gives intelligent opinions (YOU HAVE A MIND TOO SO USE IT). Just DO NOT DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION.

3) Tease – If you think this is hard, teasing is actually so much easier than humour. (That is why I will talk about teasing first before humour.) Shock them! Make the conversation NOT BORING! The last thing they will need is a boring person to talk. What do I mean by “SHOCKING THEM”? Simple, always find something in her words, in her clothes, on how she looks or even from her past and use that on busting her balls. YEAH I MEAN IT! BUST HER BALLS! Let them give you a snobbish, mouth-opened, eye-popped out look. Make them tell you “I can’t believe you just said that.” ON THE OTHER HAND, “What did you just say?” Now, why is that? Read the next number. Also, DO NOT TEASE TOO MUCH! Be a jerk! (Only through conversations okay?)

4) Humour – I know that I left you hanging there in number 3. This is because I want you to know that the VERY BEST FORMULA on having a good/not boring conversation with women is:

Shock & awe + humour = Jaw dropping, funny and a very good impression.

Mixing the two up is so effective that it gives mixed emotions.

The tease should always be followed up instantly with humour. This is for you not to appear too harsh or rude. It is good to be rude but you should know how to be not one. The emotion and feeling you just gave her after a tease will make her feel uncomfortable or be mad if that is the worst BUT when followed up by a very good humour, it will make her feel comfortable with you and would actually think of you that you are NOT BORING and is fun to be with.

A good example would be:

Let us imagine that the women you will be talking to are wearing big earrings. So first is to tease it like say, “Whoa! Those earrings are big, aren’t those actually the one used for serving food?” AND REMINDER! When you tease, LOOK SERIOUS! It is a common mistake that after a tease, we laugh just to make it look like we are just having fun. Instead, after saying “whoa! Those earrings are big, aren’t those actually the one used for serving food?” pause for about 3 seconds, look serious then hit it with something funny. (THE PAUSE IS VERY IMPORTANT because it will give time for the girl to think of what you have just told her) “I guess that’s for attracting people even the crazy ones huh?”

Then let us assume that she will reply, “You’re crazy.” Because she just cannot believe, you told her that.

Thus, instantly say “Yeah, crazy about you.” HAHA it will not just make her blush but actually think that you are hitting on her! Therefore, here comes the next part...

MIXED EMOTIONS

This is one thing every guy should know when they like a girl. Giving mixed emotions. C’mon! Do not confess too fast or too soon. It is a very common mistake. Girls have this tendency to build a barrier/shield around them when they knew that a guy likes them or so into them. Thus, giving the guy no chance at all to let the girl know him more. That is obvious actually. Women do not want to make guys that likes them think that they like the guy too because of simple acts of appreciation or worse, pity. In short, they do not want guys who like them jump into conclusions. Cannot blame them actually, since most guys really jumps into conclusions. Anyway, as I was saying, if that happens, she will not know you at all.

Also, always be a gentleman. Open every door (car, house, restaurant, mall, shops) for her, walk at the side of the road where vehicles will be from while crossing the road (do not forget that when you switch sides, move from her back and not in front) and there is so many things to be a gentleman.

So where is the mixed emotion on being a gentleman? YOUR CONVERSATIONS DUDE! You are busting her balls! However, you act like you like her by being a gentleman.

You are teasing her, then suddenly make a humour then make her blush? But still has not said anything that you like her. Then to make it more fun, when it is your turn to talk or she is the one who asked you questions specially about the girls you like... always describe the exact opposite of her and add something like “I have a high standards!” (Actually, even I used that sentence most of the time and it actually works)

Anyway, that’s it for now. I’m so sleepy already. LOL I’ll explain more about giving mixed emotions on my later posts and would actually give psychological basis for it. CIAO!